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8.19.2008

I suck at life

Lately I have been feeling completely overwhelmed with everything. It's almost like every aspect of my life is falling apart, and I can honestly state, "I suck at life".

I haven't worked in a month. Well that's not true, I worked 4 hours in the month of August, simply because my boss wasn't putting me on the schedule. The days I was scheduled to go in, the restaurant was so slow, I would get phone calls telling me not to bother coming in.
Some would think, "hey, no work?! That means I can have some fun!" Not. So because I haven't worked, I also have zero money. I've locked myself in my house like a hermit, conserving my gas like a nomad would conserve water in the desert! It doesn't help that my SUV is a gas guzzler, so I really just sit at home all day everyday.

Not only have I now become socially retarded, every one of my bills is past due and my credit score in one month, has gone down the toilet! I don't know what I'm going to do! I'm so stressed out, and bored, and I feel like I have no purpose. To add insult to serious injury, I was planning on graduating this year... Not happening.

Because I haven't worked, I can no longer afford school this semester, so I had to drop all of my classes! I just feel like such a failure. I keep thinking, all this has got to be happening for a reason. I keep looking for what it is I'm supposed to be learning from this... To no avail. So yesterday I tried looking for a second job. Although our economy sucks and we are all but in a depression, I was able to apply to 6 different places. I hope something turns out. I can not take the stress of this anymore.

It's to the point where I don't want to get out of bed... Because not only am I having a ton of issues, but when I'm awake there's things to deal with like: the environment, and saving our planet, taking out the garbage, cleaning my house, editing pictures for my new business, finding clients for my new business, paying off my credit cards, starting a savings account, dating, finding hobbies to keep me entertained since I'm not going to school, and all the other crap just don't want to deal with. Keep your fingers crossed, I'm determined to turn this around!

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