Yesterday, I had a moment of weakness. A rare moment of vulnerability, and I hated it, but I needed it. I was in the car and the song "Wonderful" by Everclear came on the radio. As I sang along and listened to the words, it hit me. I completely relate to this song, in a way I never have before. My parents first separated three years ago, and their divorce was finalized last December. It still hasn't gotten easier, and I am still learing to deal with it. As the song came to the end,
♫ ... I don't want to start over againI just want my life to be the sameJust like it used to beSome days, I hate everythingI hate everythingEveryone and everything ♫
I did the only thing I knew how to do. I pulled my car over, and cried. I cried for a good four minutes, and then realized that I felt stupid, and that other drivers probably thought I was nuts. I don't wish my parents were still together, I realize that things are better this way. A lot of blessings have come out of this change, including stronger relationships with most of my family members. But still, it's hard sometimes.