Dear F.B.U.

Dear FBU,

While other girls are shamelessly gallivanting about town covering their lady parts with dental floss, around here I feel the need for a certain amount of coverage. You know, a certain level of support that just can’t be provided by going au natural.

Most days I wear something I can move in, something that’s comfortable and a little sexy. There are times, however, when I find myself longing for “laundry days.” I know those will be the days when you’re all that’s left. I love the way your elastic fits snuggly around my thighs, the way your soft cotton caresses my skin, even the tacky VPL

you show when I work out. Yes Full Butted Underwear, I secretly love you.

I try very hard to keep my moral compass pointing due north, especially when I sleep. I like knowing that you will keep everything neat and orderly, and tucked in its proper place, and not strewn about the bed like a jiggling-fleshy mess.

F.B.U. we’ve had our share of tough times. You were once a reason a boy broke up with me, well one of the many reasons he listed anyway.

But when I choose to wear a skirt or dress, knowing that there is something between the world I live in and the world of gynecology is information for which I am truly grateful.

So let others go “commando.” Let them make fun of your full coverage. And while I may not don you all the time, don’t be sad, but take pleasure in knowing that I look forward to laundry days.

Your Secret Admirer,