Frankenstein Was Onto Something

"If my head weren't screwed on..." is a phrase that I personally feel was invented specifically for me. I honestly say this statement at least once a day. It has become a sort of personal slogan.

Saturday Night

The BF came to pick me up for a date. He had gotten off work early, and so a Saturday night date was quite a treat. We had planned on swinging by his brother’s house to visit the M’s, eating at Buffalo Wild Wings (more to come on this experience), and then watching Last of the Mohicans {. he's never seen this movie either}.

I was just finishing getting ready when he arrived at my house. I did one last “go over” with the Big Sexy Spray & Play Harder, and then got his opinion on 3 different pairs of shoes. I slipped on his favorite pick and we headed downstairs. “Oh, I need to grab the movie” I stated, and went into the living room to rummage through our CD cabinet. Once I found it I headed for the door, only to notice my s hoes were missing. “Hunny have you seen my shoes?”

“You just had them on your feet,” he replied. “I know, but now I can’t find them” I said. I ran upstairs to check my closet {maybe I hadn’t really put them on}. Not there. “Babe, you had them on when we came downstairs,” he yelled from the foyer. I ran downstairs into the living room and asked two of the brothers if they had seen my shoes. “No” they methodically replied not breaking concentration from the television. {UGH!} I ran back upstairs to check my bathroom, my mom’s closet and my room one more time. By now the BF was frustrated, as he often is with my irresponsibility. He went into the living room and shouted, “They’re right here!”. When I came into the room, he was pointing at the floor right in front of the DVD cabinet, and coincidentally right at the base of Evan’s feet. “Thanks for looking Ev, I appreciate it,” I snarled. “I couldn’t see them, my legs were in the way,” Evan replied.

The BF gave a loud sigh, and rolled his eyes, and made a face as if to tell me, “Hey, it’s your gene pool.” And with that we were off.

Sunday Morning

Because of the state of the economy, the BF had to start working Sunday’s which I hate!!! Sunday’s are supposed to be our day to relax and hang out with the families. He picked me up Sunday morning to hang out with him for a little bit before church/work. Saturday he had been given a key to his work and had put it in his pocket. We both heard it fall out and clink-clank-clunk somewhere in his car, but at the time it was late and dark and so we decided not to look for it. Sunday, when play time was over we headed to the car to search for the key and go about our business for the day. Because I’m small I was sprawled out over the passenger seat with my head on the floor under the steering wheel. BF stood outside looking between the metal and under carpeting. Searching, searching, we finally found the key!

We stopped to grab a quick breakfast since neither of us had eaten and were both pretty hungry {shh don’t tell the bishop}. As we parked, I went to slip on my shoes. {I never wear shoes when I’m in a car. I usually have my feet up on the seat or am sitting in a pretzel so I take them off}. “Hunny, I can’t find my right shoe.” I stated. “What do you mean you mean? Check under the seat”. I turned upside down to look under the seats, emptied my purse, checked under the floor mats… No shoe. “Babe, are you kidding me? We JUST went through this yesterday,” BF said, clearly frustrated. “I know, but it’s a shoe, and we’re in a closed 4 foot by 4 foot cabin, it couldn’t have gone far,” I defended. BF is always prepared and had an extra pair of shoes in the car which he slipped on and lent me his flip-flops. I stood nervously in the parking lot like a little kid in trouble, while he tore through the car like a tornado. He keeps his car very clean, so it wasn’t hard to figure out my shoes were not in the car. “How did you lose one shoe? You had it on when we got in the car, it didn’t jump out the window.” I shrugged and just started laughing. This happens to me way too often.

Just then BF called his roommate, Scott, and asked if he could check the street out by the house. Sure enough my shoe was on the curb. It must have come off when I was looking for the key. He laughed, gave me a kiss and told me he still loved me but was going to start stapling my shoes to my feet.