Christmas Cheer

Have I ever mentioned that BF tells me often how I am the meanest person in the world?  Well he does, almost daily.  I don't think I'm mean, but I admit sometimes I can be "short-tempered" or "impatient," these are the words I prefer to use.

Last night, it was proven that I am in fact the meanest person in the world.  Long story short we were in my car and someone else in their car was honking at me and calling me names that most TV stations have to bleep out.  Because there was a lot of traffic, I couldn't move my car, and they couldn't move their car.  Fairly quickly, the young-man-passenger and his grandmother-driver were both yelling obscenities at me. 

All of a sudden, BF got out of my car and walked over to their car.  I yelled, through the open passenger door, at him to, "Get back here!"  By the time I turned my head to look back out my driver's side window, I saw BF's hot chocolate cup bounce off the face of the young-man-passenger, giving him a chocolate facial!  I began screaming for BF to get in the car because, "I don't want to spend Christmas in jail!"  He turned around and was doing as I asked, when the young-man-passenger got out of his car, came up to my window, opened a to-go container filled with fish, french fries, ketchup, and some mystery sauce, and dumped it all over my lap through my still open window!  He then threw the Styrofoam container right in my face... Just as he ran back to his car, BF sat back down in his seat, closed the door, and as we looked at each other I began yelling at him for being an instigator.

I yelled for a good five minutes as the traffic began to move and we slowly drove away from the crime scene.  I finally calmed down long enough to ask BF why he would throw Hot Chocolate on someone.  Here's what happened.

BF got out of the car to go talk to the unruly grandma and her grandson because they couldn't hear him over the car honks and cuss words.  He walked up and asked them not to speak to me, a lady, in such a vulgar way, when there was nothing I could do about the traffic.  As he finished his question, the young-man-passenger threw a full-to-the-top Big Gulp at BF, drenching him.  BF was so angry, and did the only thing he knew to vent his anger without violence; the hot chocolate.  BF then turned to come back to the car to take off his drenched shirt, (and as most men would in this situation) challenging the guy to a fight the whole time.  When he turned his back, he heard me screaming, "Are you kidding me?  Grow up! I am an adult and I'm calling the police!"  It was then he ran back to the car to see why I was yelling/crying.  He said if he had known before we drove away that the young-man-passenger had involved me in the food fight, "he would have beat the crap out of him!"

Poor BF.  He was trying to be the White Knight I've always dreamed of, and protect me from jerks with foul mouths and Big Gulps, and instead of gratitude and a kiss, he got an icy-coke-shower and a lecture. 

It was still early, and we didn't want to go home, but he was soaking wet all down his front, and I stunk like garbage and vinegar and had ketchup all over my lap.  Let me tell you how fun it was traipsing around Old Navy to buy new shirts, the stares, the smell, we were quite the sight.  Yes, this was my Friday night.

PS I hope grinch-granny and her jerk grandson get coal in their stockings!