Dear Shirtless Las Vegans

Dear Shirtless Las Vegans,

I realize that it is now {officially} summer and with the temperature currently pushing 110º, most of us would like to take every possible opportunity to work on our tans.   Trust me when I say that I fully understand the desire to wear a little less clothing this time of year.  There is, however, an appropriate time and place to be without aforementioned articles of clothing.

Men, let me briefly explain the places in which is not OK to go shirtless:

☀  While driving down the freeway in your Mustang convertible, with the top down.  I've always been one for fresh air, and rolling down the window is an adequate way to feel the nice breeze while going 65 mph.  There is no need to roll drop-top-sans-top, it is simply too hot outside.  If you should so choose to disregard what I've suggested, for the love of SPF, wear a t-shirt!

☀  In your front yard, whilst mowing the lawn.  Now, I realize you are "in the privacy of your own home," but your not.  You're in the "privacy" of the public eye.  The rest of us don't pay an exorbitant Home Owner's Association fee to see your belly button lint and back hair.

☀  Anywhere public.  Those little signs on the door that state, "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service," are there for a reason.  It's a wonder they even have to exist, but some schmo probably thought that IHOP was a Margaritaville.  The sign does not mean, "Take off your shirt and your shoes and don't work."  Clothing was invented for a reason, please wear some.  {On that note, "wife-beater" (horrible name) tank tops are not suitable for public, no matter how big your muscles are.  They are an undergarment, please wear as such.  I taught BF that long ago.}

☀  Unless you look like the photo below, please wear a shirt when in the company of more than just yourself/ your family and anytime you leave your house.  If your body does look like the photo below, please disregard this letter.

Thank you.