Woe-man

Do you remember Mike Myer's little "Woman" song in So I Married An Ax-Murder?  The moan of the trumpet, and the light ringing of symbols... yea, I hear it now.  "Woman, woah-man, woooaaaaah-MAN!"

I'm going to let ya'll in on a little conversation I had this afternoon, while on my lunch break.

Brother:  Eww, your hair is greasy.

Me: What the!?  No it's not, I just washed it this morning... not even 6 hours ago... Twice actually.

Brother:  You washed your hair twice?

Me:  Yea, since it's getting to Rapunzel length, I have to split in sections, usually two, and then wash each section, but then it doesn't always feel clean, so I wash the whole thing again afterwards... Divide and Conquer!

Brother:  Well, it's greasy.

Come to think of it, I was just plain having an ugly day.  My hair fell flat within 15 minutes of doing it, it did look greasy, my face had been really shiny all day even with the use of blot sheets and powder, and, uggghhh I just felt icky.

Back at work, when I was telling my buddy about the above conversation, she said, "Yea, your hair does look greasy."  Fantastic.  She even reached into her desk drawer, and pulled out a little tiny red bottle of white powdery "hair volumizer" and said, "Here, this is supposed to help.  I don't use it so you can have it."  Not knowing what it was or how to use it, I opened it and briefly began to Salt & Pepper my head. 

Fail.

My hair still looked dirty (dirty sounds better that greasy), and now it felt like there was waxy pomade in it.  Gross.

I decided to quit worrying about it.  When I got home this evening, and cracked open one of my many magazines, I stumbled across an article.  It was fascinating.  My problem was not that I was having an ugly day, or that my Shampoo took the day off... My problem was that I am in fact female, and my body's cycle works to sabotage my looks all of the time.

Consider this an introduction to a four part series about the "Woes of Womanhood."