Your Mother is an Ophiuchus...

This morning, I heard the most INFURIATING news...  "They" changed the astrological signs!  Stinkin' "they..." always messing things up!  "Who are 'they' anyway?"  While getting ready this morning, I heard a brief something about this on the news, and decided read up on a little more.

According to LiveScience.com, the signs have changed because, "the stars are not aligned as previously thought."  Zodiac signs are assigned based on the " constellation the sun was in the day you were born."  The problem is that the Earth wobbles.

Think of the spinning of the Earth, like a spinning top.  When the spinning top starts to slow down, it wobbles a bit...  While the Earth's rotation isn't slowing, the fact that it spins on an axis, causes wobbles.  "As our planet rotates, its axis swings in a circle, pointing in different directions. As the Earth's position shifts, so does our perspective of the night sky." (CSMonitor.com)

"For example, we take the North Star, Polaris, for granted. It's the star most closely aligned with Earth's North Pole. But back when the pyramids were constructed, the star that aligned with the North Pole wasn't Polaris at all: It was a star in the constellation Draco called Thuban. In 12,000 years, Earth's North Star will be Vega, the brightest star in the constellation Lyra." (CSMonitor.com)

"Over the 2,500 years or so since the zodiac was established, your sign has moved about a month relative to the sun and stars," thus changing the zodiac signs. 

In order to accommodate the changes, a new, 13th sign, Ophiuchus (the serpent bearer),  has been "added" to the zodiac.  In all reality, the constellation has always existed, but ancient astronomers left it out so as to have an even 12 signs.  Ophichus' symbol is the Rod of Asclepius, you know the serpent on a stick often seen on the sides of ambulances.

So what are the new sign assignments?

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
★ Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

I am a Sagittarius, but as of 2011, technically my birthday falls under Scorpio.  GARBAGE!  Although only 25% of the American population actually believes in Astrology (I am not one of them ), I do believe that I have the characteristics of awesome Sags!  Don't tell me I am now a lame-o Scorpio (no offense Scorpios).

What do you think of all this nonsense?

And, really, there is no need to freak out.  According to CNN, the new astrological sign changes only affect those people born in 2011 and later.  Take in a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief!